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When I received the below email, I didn't know if it was because he knew I performed, or because I'm ODP editor for Redondo Beach (submitting Redondo Beach info to search engines). I learned yesterday he didn't know I performed. I thanked him. I hadn't performed since moving from Vegas. It was a great opportunity for me. The program was recorded. It will be part of http://www.forgivenessworks.org/ video. My "performance" has been submitted for a book they're putting together. Below the email is the 4 minute peformance I did. The story for the book allowed me to lengthen the "performance" a little. I suspect I'll be performing at future Forgiveness Project events, and wouldn't be surprised if those who took my contact info ask me to perform at their churches. *sly grin* I have lots of material regarding forgiveness and tolerance. Cheryl Miller -----Original Message----- From: SFNVSOUTHBAY Sent: Friday, March 29, 2002 4:02 PM To: cheryl@mbwfamily.com Subject: THE FORGIVENESS PROJECT
On April 7, the Season for Nonviolence South Bay Task Force, will present the Forgiveness Project, an afternoon of poetry, spoken word and song on the process, personal voyage and outcome of forgiveness. The event will take place at 3 p.m. at the Redondo Beach Church of Religious Science. In an "open mike" format, participants will have an opportunity to share their individual expressions on their experiences. Each performer will have up to four minutes for his/her presentation. If you know of anyone who might be interested in participating, I've attached additional information on the Forgiveness Project, information on booking an "open mike" space and general information on Season for Nonviolence. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My eldest daughter was molested by her paternal uncle for 3 years. I confronted my in-laws, and learned my husband, the eldest, had raped his 4 years younger halfsister as a teenager. His sister went on to rape or molest her 4 and more years younger 4 brothers. One of them had a breakdown at age 21 remembering, but didn't tell anyone at the time. They all disowned me. My husband didn't remember raping his sister. 2 months later I had a breakdown at age 35 remembering repeated rape by my father, who had died 10 years earlier. My mother said, "One day you'll thank me for having kept these secrets." My eldest sister had a breakdown at age 21 remembering more than 30 years earlier, when my twin and I were 7 years old. Her therapist was not obliged to report the abuse. My sister moved back home several years later a single mom with 4 daughters. Two of those daughters had breakdowns in adulthood remembering before I did. A year before my breakdown remembering, my niece's 5 year old daughter was watching a tv public service ad about bad touch. Her mom was one of my niece's who'd had a breakdown remembering before I did. My little grandniece described to her mom oral sex, had a vaginal infection, and her father's roommate was a convicted pedophile, but she wouldn't tell CPS what she told her mom, so her father wasn't convicted. My sister convinced her daughter that my little grandniece must continue visitation because, "After all, that is her father." My sister was repeating a decision she'd made for herself 30 years earlier. My twin had a psychotic break 10 years before my breakdown, after our dad died. My twin told me at the time that she had something special between her and dad that she couldn't tell me about, "It's a secret, " she said. All of my family disowned me. My husband eventually had a breakdown remembering raping his sister. A month later my husband denied ever telling me what he remembered and he demanded an immediate divorce. Eventually my ex sobbed to me about his stepdad's death, and told me that on his deathbed, his stepdad admitted to molesting my ex. A month later my ex denied ever telling me that. I went on to speak, write and perform on the subject. I shared my story to show how victims' silence helps the crime move on thru the next generation.
This is a poem by an incest survivor, Martha Janssen, regarding forgiveness...
Forgiveness There are those who expect me to forgive to let charitable kindness and reason wash over me like a rushing stream over jagged rocks -- to forgive now.
Seventy times seven -- the command may mean more than first appears Not that one says "I forgive" over and over and over nor that to will it makes it so, but that one forgives as one loves -- gradually. Forgiveness is a process that begins with knowledge understanding believing in change. I feel little charity now. I can hope it may happen as I come to understand myself and you. Seventy experiences and understandings times seven or seventy more. I can believe I will forgive someday -- then.
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