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"Self-criticism or self-judgment is self-hatred. It will always hurt you. There is no exception to that." Dick Olney, a master psychotherapist and, for many, a profound spiritual teacher. He called his work Self-Acceptance Training and he trained therapists and others from coast to coast for more than two decades. Dick said the truth can never be spoken. Even so, his words point the way.

"There is only one wound of the mental body, and that is the wound of self-criticism or self-judgment" "One definition of insanity is to do something for twenty years that has not worked, and then do it again as if it will work." "To see what you are not is most important. Then what you are will naturally emerge." "The goal of a good therapist is to help someone wake up from the bad dream that they are their self-image." "Your thoughts come automatically. It is to the extent you identify with them that they make you their slave. You become the mistress of your thoughts, not when you can control the machine, but when you do not identify with it." "Emotion will not drive you crazy. What will drive you crazy is the fear of emotion."

controlling.gif (12052 bytes) Check out his site.

Think Like a Shrink

nutrition.gif (13308 bytes) This is my favorite book. I had never been into nutritional healing before. However, faced with high blood pressure and increasing disability because of a 10 year old car accident and arthritis, I was willing to try anything. It works. Two weeks after starting the supplements, my neck injury and arthritis was measurably improved. I'm going to keep up the supplements. They're worth it.
BTW, the best prices were on Trader Joe's private labels. Then try Sav-On private labels, Costco private labels, the swap meet. 
dancing.gif (6654 bytes) From Kirkus Reviews , 08/01/97:
Charting the near-destruction of a child's soul at the hands of the self-centered, bickering adults around her, Nolan (Send Me Down a Miracle, 1996, etc.) dives into the mind of an emotionally disturbed girl in an intense, exceptionally well-written novel. Miracle McCloy grows from a lonely ten-year-oldraised by her well-meaning, clairvoyant, but steeped-in-denial grandmotherto a silent and troubled teen. Her mother's death and father's abandonment make Miracle feel that she doesn't exist, so she floats through life as a nonentity, a bystander. At 14, she has a breakdown and severely burns herself. Institutionalized, with the help of a kindly doctor and heroic Aunt Casey, Miracle is forced to confront her family's secrets and uncover the truth about herself. While the characters initially seem like stereotypical Southern eccentrics, Nolan skillfully discloses their true natures, allowing them to blossom on the page. The book ends on a note of hope, as Miracle takes steps toward contentment and begins to participate fully in her own life. The shadows of truth, suffering, self-expression, and repression are examined without psychobabble in this sad, funny, and tender story. (Fiction. 12+) -- Copyright ©1997, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

This book mesmerized me. I loved Miracle. I was taken by surprise by the epilogue. I was taken by surprise by the author's understanding of what it was like for me to discover the truth about the people around me, and the truth about myself. Cheryl Moore Barron

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From 500 Great Books by Women; review by Erica Bauermeister
Little Altars Everywhere
is a book that stuns - aesthetically, emotionally, psychologically. At its core is Siddalee's dysfunctional Southern family. Now thirty-eight, Siddalee lives in New York and tries to understand a childhood dominated by her beautiful, dramatic mother, Viviane, who drank and then beat and sexually abused her children. Then there's her father, Big Shep, an alcoholic as well, a sensitive Louisiana farmer who can never quite say what he wants, unless it's to yell at his wife. Siddalee's siblings have their own problems, and Willetta and Chaney, the black "help," have no power to save them. Chaney remarks: the "Only thing my Letta done lost sleep over is those children ... You hand-wash a family's underthings and you learn more about them than you ever want to." All of them tell their stories, packing full lives into anecdotes and scenes told as adults or remembered as children. Rebecca Wells takes those stories, so filled with pain, and makes beauty. After Siddalee allows her long, red hair to be cut on a drunken day, she lies out on the grass: "My heart starts pounding, my breath gets real tight, and I get all afraid. But I can feel the ground underneath me. And I tell myself: The earth is holding me up. I am lighter than I was before. My hair is like grass planted on the top of my head. If I can just wait long enough, maybe it will grow back in some other season."

 

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4/28/98

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