The redhead spent the first day packing her belongings.  On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.  On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of chardonnay.  When she had finished, she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of all of the curtain rods.  She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.  Then, slowly, the house began to smell.  They tried everything: cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.  Vents were checked for dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned and air fresheners were hung everywhere!  Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.  Nothing worked.  People stopped coming over to visit.  Repairmen refused to work in the house.  Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.  A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.  Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.  He told her the saga of the rotting house.  She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.  Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10 of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and, within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.  A week later, the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.

I just love a happy ending, don't you?

Toward the end of the service the minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" 80% held up their hands. The minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small, elderly lady.

"Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any," she replied, smiling sweetly.
"Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-eight," she replied.
"Oh, Mrs. Jones, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The redhead tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation and said, "I outlived the bitches."

A friend of mine is selling throws. You know what they are - the thingy that you put over your bed. I have only this sample. They are $150 each. I know it sounds expensive, but   
they are good quality.

I know its really to warm to even think about a throw at this time of year but when you go to find a nice one it seems as if they are all picked over. 

Have a look, and let me know if you are interested: