03/19/2001 I've shared before ss is on robotics team. It looked like he wouldn't
make getting on the core team cuz bm wouldn't cooperate to let him
attend meetings during her time. Then when that didn't become an issue
after all, bm still tried to talk ss out of participating just cuz it
was something he was doing at our request.
Then he was chosen as one of the 7 out of 20 team members to be on
the core team and eventually go to Florida competition. Bm was all up in
arms thinking the competition would be during his weekend with her.
Fortunately LA competition and Florida competition were only during ss's
time with dad.
LA competition was this past Thu, Fri, Sat. And ss's team won FIRST
PLACE. Dh went w/ss on Fri, our whole family went Sat. We had so much
fun. My daughters expected to be bored. They loved it. Now they and
their friends want to join robotics.
The part you'd especially appreciate was our surprise at seeing bm
and her parents there.
Grandpa walked by and I'm waving frantically at him thinking he's
looking for ss. He flatly ignores my constant waving. Dh chased him down
and pointed him to ss to say hi. Grandpa had lost bm and her mom.
A few minutes later we spot bm and her mom. Dh goes to chase them
down, and as soon as they see dh they abruptly turn and walk fast the
other way. Dh caught up with them and pointed them towards grandpa and
ss in the pit.
If they'd come close, we'd have introduced them to the school
district technology director and the dean of students, both very
involved with robotics and both people bm had written with concerns that
she would miss visitation with her son if he participated.
The rest of the time we didn't see them and thought they'd left. I
don't know why I was surprised. They always hid in the back dodging us,
glaring at us, even at events when biomom had custody.
At the end dh walked ss to team bus and bm was waiting in the pits.
She and her parents must work very hard to find out their exit so she
can be there waiting. She wanted a pic of ss with his gold medal. Dh
wondered if she'd demand ss give his medal to her (remember she likes to
keep all awards), but she didn't.
Ss now wants to join robotics again next year. Next year the
competitions may be during his time with biomom. I really doubt she'll
be supportive, but ss may be adamant that he needs to go. He gets
exposed to all the tech companies looking for students with a future.
They give out scholarships...
He goes to Florida next month, and since robotics is sponsored by
Nasa, they're getting a special inside look at Johnson Space Center.
I've shared before that ss age 5-10 bm had custody and practiced
severe visitation denial. Age 10 in court judge was furious with bm but
visitation order was so vague he couldn't find her in contempt. He
sternly told her off. Age 13 in court again for visitation denial
against bm, judge glares at her as she demands visitation to father be
reduced.
The evaluator to our and our attorney's surprise was lukewarm about
custody change. She minimized bm's bipolar and severe visitation denial
saying bm was ss's constant. She said she doubted I could have a close
relationship with ss, and she wasn't impressed with dh cuz he hadn't
paid support 5 months after last unemployment.
Judge wasn't suffering from any doubt about the need for a custody
change, and quickly took care of the matter.
Since ss has been succeeding so much (from D's with bm to straight
A's and no ritalin) and now the robotics win, I've been letting our
attorney know. He keeps the evaluator up to date on his progress *grin*.
Concerned Stepmom
03/24/2001
I still snail mail bm all email from robotics. Grandma was at the
parents' meeting today about the team going to FL. They don't tell ss
they're going to show up at the event, or the parents' meeting.
At the meeting they announced that for the first time the high school
will have a 6 week summer course for robotics. In the past bm made it
very clear that she will not give up a week of her summer with ss in
order for him to attend a 6 week summer course. Ss and my daughter will
be taking the course. If ss misses the last week maybe the teacher will
have him do makeup work so he can still get school credit for taking the
class, or ss will attend the 5 weeks, benefit from the class and
camaraderie, and give up school credit for his time.
Concerned Stepmom
03/25/2001
Today my 16yo daughter had an assignment today of pretending to be
disabled (in her case blind), and she was to accompany me on my errands.
First thing we run in to robotics school district director in the
parking lot. I quickly explain my daughter's assignment. The director
tells me, "BTW, I met (ss's) grandma at the parent's meeting."
I said, "You did?!?" She said, "She was irritated with me
because I hadn't emailed them again and she demanded copies of all
papers before the meeting." I chuckled, she chuckled. I told her
we'd shared all papers with grandma during the meeting. Now I realized
the director probably noticed that too. She said she just played nice. I
said that's fine, you do your part, we'll take care of our part.
Then my daughter tells me that at the competition bm had asked ss for
his gold medal, but ss refused.
Thank goodness - he needs it for the FL competion and if he'd given
it up we'd never have seen it again.
Concerned Stepmom
"She" can be one too!
When you look at the deadbeat sites, ask yourself if you're
behaving like a deadbeat, and remember that men are victims of "her"
deadbeat mentality also.
